i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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