I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
