her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
