Apparently you make a good broom.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
