I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
