Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
