My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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