You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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