i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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