i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
