he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
