Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Randomize
