it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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