Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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