make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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