remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
