Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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