Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
