i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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