He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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