so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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