i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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