this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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