The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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