You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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