After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize