i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
