best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize