So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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