haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
