He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
