yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
