we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So much rum. So many feels.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
