i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Shame - the story of my life.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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