after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
