don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
