Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
