Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
