I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
