i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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