I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
