You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
tequila makes me forget i have legs
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Randomize
