How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
