best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
