too bad you live with your parents still
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
