Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize