Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
