we're blogging at a bar
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
