Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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