Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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