I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
