So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize