you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
