Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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