My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
she peed on how many people?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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