bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I have tasted many bathrooms
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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