Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It's just like the Real World with babies
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
