Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I lost the right to judge tonight
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
