i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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